The Mirror in Shadow Work

Ever wonder why certain kinds of people and situations keep showing up your life over and over again? Here's one explanation.

In between bouts of cold and cough over the last few weeks, I've been immersing myself in "shadow work." Last month I saw the movie "The Shadow Effect" and since then I have been reading Debbie Ford's book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers and beginning to claim or own parts of myself that I have covered up or projected onto others over the years.

Debbie Ford says in her book, "People mirror back to us what is within us because subconsciously we are calling it forth from them...The miracle occurs when you truly own and embrace and aspect of yourself. At that point, the person who is serving as your mirror will either stop acting out the behavior, or you will become able to choose not to have this person in your life. When you unplug, you no longer need another person to mirror your shadow back to you."

If we haven't dealt with some aspect of ourselves, we will keep drawing to us people or circumstances to reflect back that part of ourselves, so we can embrace it and become whole. Once we do, we don't need that mirror anymore.

I have seen this in my own life as I look back on the kinds of people I've attracted into my life; they've always demonstrated those qualities I needed to own or embrace in myself at the time—either dark or light parts of myself. And the ones who are currently in my life act out those traits that I haven't yet embraced in myself.

Play Time: I invite you to consider how the people you have currently attracted into your life may be mirroring back to you aspects of yourself that you're not fully owning. Hint: look for the things you really LOVE and the things you really HATE about the people in your life. How are the traits you notice in others also a part of you?

Bonus: Check out Reverend Frankie's blog post on this topic, "Loving My Shadow"